When people are happy, they frequently seek out those they are attracted to, excited about, or want to share joy with (the person they “love” or desire). Happiness is expansive and outward-facing for many.
When people are sad, hurt, or vulnerable, they more often turn to people who feel safe, reliable, and unconditionally supportive (the person who loves them). Comfort, acceptance, and low judgment matter more than excitement in those moments.
This pattern shows up in everyday experience and lines up with basic attachment and emotional-regulation ideas: we seek different things from different relationships depending on our emotional state